True introverts know that there’s no limit to how far one will go to avoid communicating with other people. It may seem crazy to the outside world, but drastic times call for drastic measures.
As Charles Bukowski once famously said, “I don’t hate people, I just feel better when they aren’t around.” Introverts aren’t scared of people – it’s those shallow, uncomfortable little interactions we all tend to engage in that cause them to run and hide. We can’t even blame them. Who actually likes making small talk with anyone? Besides, sometimes you just need to be alone with your thoughts and not have Sheila from accounting interrupt them.
If you think introverts are lazy and unmotivated, you’ve never seen them maneuver out of a social situation. Scroll down to see all the proof you need, and if you’ve got a major stealth tactic of your own, add it to our list at the end.
If someone is browsing a section of a shelf at a grocery where I need something from, I pretend to look at other stuff until they go away.
I swear though today I think I was waiting for someone to leave the canned soup section while they were waiting for me to leave the salsa section diagonally behind them.
A few summers ago, we had to replace the air vents in my house so my parents hired a few guys from an air conditioning company. To change all the air vents, the men had to go room to room so naturally, I thought I could avoid them by literally camping out in the closet which had no air vent so why would they even need to check? The closet in question was actually a teeny walk-in closet in my parent’s room with a door that opens inward like a bedroom door. So I grabbed my pillow, 3DS, and a snack, and was ready to brave the long day in there.
Unfortunately, I didn’t think far enough about what to do if they did happen to come upon my hiding spot. I think I was in there for about an hour when I suddenly heard footsteps nearby and yep, they were opening the door. I never panicked so hard in my life because how do you even explain this to someone? “Hello, I didn’t want you to know I was here so I decided to make this closet my home.”
So what did my panicked dumbass do to make it even more awkward? I started PUSHING back on the door to shut it and I can just imagine what this poor guy must have been thinking. He finally stopped pushing, knocked politely on a freaking closet door, and asked if there were any air vents in there. I could only squeak out a mortified no.
I do have social anxiety which makes me do some pretty stupid things, but I definitely learned my lesson that time to not avoid people. Or better yet, not be an idiot!
I just took a new job where I basically interact with dogs all day instead of people. It is bliss.
My grandfather has died like 15 times to get me out of social engagements. What a champ.
I had this office job for about 6 months where I didn’t really like anyone I worked with, so every day for lunch I would go out to my car to pretend I was going out to get lunch, and instead drive to a nearby mall parking garage, park, and eat the lunch I’d packed for myself. I could’ve saved gas and time by just sitting by myself at one of the tables at work. But then someone might’ve tried to talk to me.
My roommates decided to have a random study party, with like 20 people in our apartment that is only 800 sq feet. Because of the unexpected intrusion, I got into the router settings and throttled the internet to dial up era speeds. When my roommates were trying to figure out what was happening, I told them we simply had too many people splitting the bandwidth and in annoyance they all left for the library. Best eight hours of silence ever.
My roommate is very talkative. She’ll talk at me for hours on end if I let her. Sometimes when I’m not in the mood for it, I’ll hop in the car and drive until she goes to bed.
I volunteered for a position in another country where I don’t speak the language so I could avoid conversations with my coworkers.
Picked up a girl at the bar once… I was 19 (didn’t get carded) she was 26. Around 3AM I decided I want her gone. So I go around the house and set all the clocks forward to 630AM. I even went out to my truck and changed that clock. I woke her up and told her I had shit to do, it was morning. She was very confused, prob only slept about 30 mins.
I passed a f*cking bank on the way to her house… Big ass bright clock at 3am.
She was not happy.. never spoke again.
I didn’t get up to use the restroom on a 12 hour flight because I didn’t want to bother the guy next to me. Also didn’t refuse the drinks they kept offering in fear of being rude. Some of the worst pain I’ve experienced..